Vacation

Vacation!!!!!!

We are headed on vacation!  Five people in one van for over 20 hours! The stress would drive anyone to eat!  Okay well the stress would drive this girl to eat!  People deal with stress in different ways and that’s what I do!  Chocolate, Cheese and man I’ve been feeing for a diet pepsi! 

Yesterday as I was getting ready for vacation and shopping my mouth was so dry!  I was at the register and you know those marketing SOB’s (yes I said it) they put the little refrigerators next to the registers full of mostly unhealthy beverages, over priced and calling your name!  When in sound mind you say, You losers trying to rip me off, I could walk back 200 yards to the beverage aisle and pick up a pack of 6 of these for a dollar more than what you are charging here in this fancy cute little refrigerator!  But on those weak days, you say, “I need you”, “I must have you, you unhealthy expensive little thing!” 

Trust me I’ve had those days, I don’t want to walk my fat tushy back to the beverage aisle and so I convince myself, “you only really want one” and so you buy it!  Truth is, I would buy the six pack if it were closer…and so this is part of my problem! 

I must have had my muscles on, because I was strong enough to resist the urge to buy that stupid overpriced, bad for you drink! 

I did buy some alternatives….Adriondack Seltzer, flavored raspberry lime!  My bff J would love this drink and so I figure I would too!  I also picked up some kind of Starbucks Natural energy drink that another friend told me about.  She’s on a health revolution for her life after losing her sister, and a dear friend of mine to cancer! She loves them, so I figured I’d try them.   This is part of my desire for better health.  I’ll blog about the sweetest girl I’ve ever met another time!  [tear]

I packed the car with some yummies…but also packed lots of water, bananas, apples, drinkable applesauces (mostly for the kids) and GUM!  I love that I can chew sugarfree gum for free!  Zero points on WW.  Maybe I have a slight oral fixation and like to just eat and chew.  So I throw that piece of gum in my mouth and it keeps from food entering.  I have to say, I’ve never eaten gum and ate something at the same time…that could be a little gross.

I am not going to fully deprive myself while on vacation but there are a few things I am definitely going to do…

1.        I will NOT drink any soda!  None.

2.       I will try to eat only when hungry and not just to eat!

3.       I will get plenty of rest at night so that I am not a hot mess during the day, which makes it harder for      me to make good decisions.

4.       I will BLOG! 

Any tips you want to share with me?!

The Factory

I spent the other morning having a cup of coffee with a friend who is on a weight-loss journey!  She just kept encouraging me and telling me I CAN DO THIS!  You know who you are L!  And let me tell you the strength this girl has is motivating! 

 

So lately when making decisions I’ve been able to think about my friend L and make better choices! 

 

Diet Pepsi and I have been separated since my slip up at BJ’s!  But it’s getting easier!  

I spent the other evening helping Rudy with something in his office.  We were passing the Bridgewater Mall and there was traffic so we stopped for dinner.  Ahh, the Cheesecake Factory….My favorite!

 I ordered a water and told our server that I broke up with soda.  She didn’t say anything at first, but after I gulped my first glass of water, and she was filling my second she said, “I gave up soda too, I know how hard it is, you need something else cold to always be sipping on”.  I appreciated her acknowledging what I had said.  I also appreciate that she attempted to connect with me.  

Sometimes I feel so judged.  I know it’s easy to judge someone by the way they look.  Sometimes I feel like people look at me the way I look at Honey Boo Boo’s Mom.  I say to myself, “really?!”  People automatically look at me and probably think, I am a constant junk food addict, that I feed my kids crap, that I don’t ever work out, and that I don’t value myself etc.  All of which is extremely untrue. 

 

But at that moment I felt like I was accepted, the real me!  Well the Alissa who desires health!  The real me?!  That’s a whole other blog!  {insert awkward laugh}

So eating at the Cheesecake Factory is one of my favorite things to do…the menu is so extensive, you can find almost anything you could crave.  Usually at the Factory, I would have a burger or the orange chicken.  Instead I stuck to the Skinnylicious menu and found something that struck my fancy! 

The Mexican Tortilla Salad…

…and notice my ice water!  {Go Lissa, Go Lissa!!!!!}

Rudy and I did share a piece of cheesecake and to both of our surprises, we each had a few bites, wrapped the rest to go home and sure enough we left it in the car to spoil and so never touched it again!  I think Skinny Alissa purposely forgot the cheesecake….The fuller Alissa would have ate the cheesecake with her hands in the car ride home.  Don’t lie….You would have too!!!  

I had to skip out of my weigh-in on Wednesday because the day was crazy.  But on Thursday I had to go to the doctor…silly girl.  I thought I was having a heart attack. The doctor thought I had a blood clot…everything ended up being okay, but I hopped on the scale, and I lost 3.8 pounds!  

WOoHoo!

Thanks for all the encouragement!  You guys have been great!  You can do it too!

The Break Up...(not the movie hehe)

So, did you ever date someone and break up and then start dating again?  And then breakup again?!  

I know you are probably wondering what the heck I am doing talking about dating when I am so happily married to this guy….

But recently I’ve been having a slight love affair…with this…..

So I posted last night that I was breaking up with diet pepsi…would you know that I was at BJs with Grace and Bella, we had a quick lunch in the café there, and I got a diet soda….I sat with the girls we were eating and then I looked at what I was drinking and was like, HOLY COW, I totally just started drinking that without thinking!  

A friend walked up with her cart full of groceries and kids and she is on the same journey with me, we are doing WW again and we are in the same Bible Study…BUSTED!

Okay for real…I’M DONE WITH YOU, YOU STUPID DIET PEPSI, You make me feel bad about myself, you do bad things to me and other people, You’re full of junk!  GOOD BYE!

My Addiction

This is a hard battle.  To change years and years of “normal” in a day, two days or a week or two is so mind boggling!  Last week I didn’t post and to be honest it was because I didn’t want to share how I was doing.

I started drinking soda again.  I have this strange addiction to diet pepsi.  I crave it.  I desire it.  The feeling of the bubbles, the taste, the can…everything!  I can’t explain it.  An alcoholic may grab a beer or a hard drink when feeling stressed, I want a diet pepsi..  ?!?!?!?!?  I don’t get it.  I don’t! 

Jillian Michaels has an article out, I guess she was like me at one point…

.

http://www.everydayhealth.com/diet-nutrition/ask-jillian-how-can-i-kick-my-diet-soda-habit-for-good.aspx

http://youtu.be/K2wTHjhh0CI  This is the youtube link where you can hear her advice to kick the bad habit of soda.

I know this is crazy, I hear everyone loud and clear, soda is bad for me…I don’t care!  Does that make sense?  I think at this point the thing that is stopping me, is that I bloat up like a balloon, no exaggeration, when I drink the stuff.  And when I drink a diet pepsi, I find my whole body hurts like I have the flu.  Aches and pains in all my joints! 

So let’s see…today I did NOT have any diet soda….from here on out, we are through!  

I have broken up with diet soda and soda all together!

So, the weigh-in for last week.  I gained .8 ounces.  Not happy, but I also wore more clothes to my weigh-in so that could have effected my number!  I also know I didn’t get enough sleep during the nights so I wasn’t prepared to make smarter decisions.  I wanted sugary foods, because I was exhausted and wanted a boost and the only thing I got that from was junk.  

I had a bad week, I still went to the weigh-in and didn’t hide.  I knew I had to hold myself accountable to that scale.  So a gain of .8.  Sorry folks.

Bad Day!!

 

So I didn’t sleep much the other night (Thursday into Friday).  Probably not much at all.  Just in that one night of no sleep, I felt horrible on Friday.

When a person lacks sleep, he or she will crave sugary foods, searching for a way to get “high” to have stamina for the day.  So, I had a good breakfast, but from then on, I was grasping at straws for energy.  And we had a busy day. 

Isabella and Grace both had gymnastics in the morning.  Grace my little spitfire, she was all over the place and I worked up a sweat.  Right after gymnastics I had to run Bella to school, thankfully I picked up Rudy in the process and he drove and I got to nap a little.  Naps don’t help much unless I wear my CPAP machine, but then I take MONDO naps…way too long and I’m dead to the world.  (maybe bad choice of words…haha)

Rudy and I went out to lunch with Gracie and I picked salad bar and two mini burgers.  The burgers size was like a quarter of a real burger.  But I was satisfied.  After lunch we picked up a new movie for our kiddos and popcorn to have a movie night.  I allowed Rudy to pick the worst popcorn in the world to have, movie theater popcorn and I grabbed some kind of chocolatey cookie.  UGH Bad choices!  It’s hard to be strong when you don’t feel strong. 

The tiredness set in even more that afternoon.  I was cranky and irritable.  I cried to Rudy because I just can’t think straight without sleep, I just want to sit in the dark and not make any decisions.  I feel helpless.  It’s times like these my psychiatrist would want me on medication!  NOPE Dr. Lady, not this time.  I worked through it, I tried to catch another cat nap and on we went with the day.  

One bad day, does not mean I should throw away the week before and the rest of this week.  From here on out, I make better decisions.  Like the one I made last night to go to bed, put on my mask and sleep. 

 I got 6 hours…so here’s to today!  

Love Yous!

Hello God I hear you!!!!

SO!!!!!!!!  I believe in a God that is just slap you in the face with the truth when you need it!  And sure sometimes He allows us to deal with what we are in, so that we find Him waiting for guide us!  TRUST!  I think I have always been afraid of giving God my all in weight-loss because I have been afraid of what He would have me do, and how much He will make me sweat. 

So that Wednesday Morning Bible study brunch that conquered...we also get to pick the study we will do for the Fall.  God brought me to this journey, placed it on my heart to blog about it and share it with you and now, He brought me to Bible Study.  AND He brought me the perfect study.  

One of the woman at church lost over 106lbs and now is leading a study through the book, "Made to Crave", by Lisa TerKeurst.  

It's basically about satisfying your deepest desires with God and not food.  It helps you realize why you are eating what you are eating, and to modify that behavior by finding strength in the Almighty!  

Thank You GOD!!!  Seriously He could NOT have been anymore clear.  I started reading it and I'm amazed that she read my mind and I'll share more after next Wednesday when we discuss the chapters!  

So excited!

Love Yous!